Tag Archives: Youth

Missing Milestones

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Students may be missing milestones like dancing at Prom

It seems that this is going to be a year when high school and college students are going to be missing milestones in their lives. As an adult looking back, proms, senior year antics, and graduation ceremonies feel like distant memories that I do not attach much importance to. However, if I were to be a high school or college senior at this moment in time I would feel a whole lot of negative emotions thinking I was about to be robbed of all of the celebrations I have worked so hard for the past few years.

When I think back on that time in my life, around April through mid-June life revolves around so many fun activities that mark the end of a long journey even as we start to look forward to the next stage of our lives. During this pandemic, people are being forced to stay home and away from friends, any activities that have to do with groups of people are forbidden, and schools look to be out until September. I hear that most will have their degrees mailed to them. Goodbye and Good Luck without any pomp or circumstance.

This is tough!

If you are living with a high school senior or have a college senior back at home this spring, it is important for you to help them navigate this time that surely feels disappointing. As they are missing milestones, how can you help them navigate this disappointing time and mark it uniquely within your family? These are the questions of the moment.

First, allow your child to vent, be angry, express disappointment and anger at the entire situation. Invite these feelings and be present to them. What your young adult is feeling is real and being able to make space and validate these feelings is important. If you are having a difficult time empathizing, remember back to how you felt during these important moments. It may feel long ago and not so important, but at the time it was everything. Recalling your own experience at that time, may help you hold space for your children to vent without feeling the need to shut them down.

Second, don’t jump the gun and think all is lost. Perhaps all will be cancelled, perhaps it will all be postponed — most of us don’t know exactly what is going to happen. It is difficult to live with uncertainty and not be able to make any definitive plans for these celebrations. Rather, one has to just take it day-by-day and be in the moment. So difficult at this time.

Third, if the special events are called off, finding creative ways to celebrate may be called for not only by you, but the entire school community. Perhaps a virtual prom is held as well as a virtual graduation ceremony. I am not sure if these types of events are in the works, but perhaps you could call the school/ PTA or whomever to inquire as to how this end of school could be marked in community with one another without being physically close to one another. If nothing is going to take place via the school, perhaps your own community of friends and families can get together virtually and mark the occasion together. One thing, it will be unforgettable.

Finally, make sure that you, as a family, mark the occasion of graduation. Perhaps you delay the party until it is safe or simply have a family celebration with cake and well wishes and creative gifts. Perhaps you create a video to mark the day. Technology can very much be our friend during such a time. Make sure to make time and make it a big deal for your graduate!

All is not lost during this time that may bring your senior to missing milestones in their school career. However, by allowing space for them to share their feelings, looking into what can be done at a school/community level, and marking it personally will help make the occasions special this season. Hold on to what is important and make sure to not forget even as society battles this pandemic.

Eco Anxiety: Finding Hope in Hopelessness

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Our Precious Earth

I was reading an interesting article last week on Eco Anxiety and how it is being felt by Generation Z. I have been curious to read an article like this one given the dire circumstances our environment is in these days. As school-aged children take in the news, I have been curious as to how they are dealing with the news and what it all may mean for their future on Earth.

The term eco-anxiety was new to me, but it also seems to capture the concern well. It’s a term coined and defined as “chronic fear of environmental doom.” With wildfires burning out of control, hurricanes destroying major cities on a regular basis, mass migration of people across the globe for political reasons, news headlines of starving wildlife, and the UN putting out reports that humans have 12 years to solve the crisis or we are all doomed, I can see why younger generations are feeling anxiety. What is their future going to look like if there is no planet to sustain them?

The article discusses in some depth how parents, teachers, and other adults can offer hope to the youth even when all of the news and statistics point to hopelessness. How does one manage her eco-anxiety?

It seems one of the best ways to help youth allay their alarmist fears is to talk about the environment in an open and honest manner. And to keep talking. Looking at the issue from a historical lens on how we got here and preparing them to critically think about ways to approach the environmental crisis differently than past generations. There is hope because they are young and have an opportunity to bring new ideas to the situation.

Still, managing eco-anxiety is something that all of us need to engage in. Even if we are middle to old age people, the planet is where we all live and her well-being parallels our own. So, instead of swinging from catastrophe to denying that there is a problem, finding a “middle space” where one can weigh up the issue and think through solutions on personal, communal, and societal levels seems to be a place of healthy management for one’s eco-anxiety.

I found it interesting to read in this article how young people feel resistant to having to take it on at all — that older generations should be the ones protecting them and the planet. They have homework to do, dates to make, sports to play, and colleges to apply for. Why should they have to be the ones to be bothered? Good question.

Being a member of Generation X, I can say, when I was young, I also wanted to enjoy my youth and time as a teen. When I say that no one worried about the environment back then, I really mean it. Recycling came in to the suburban neighborhoods sometime in the 80s and most people didn’t even engage in it too much. It was slow to dawn on any of us that we needed to stop using plastic, recycle, conserve resources, and more. Am I proud of this? No. Is this the same tug and pull Generation Z is feeling – yes. They too want the luxury of burying their heads in the sand and living life without these environmental cares.

And now time is running out. If some generation does not care, it is going to be too late. Still, balancing one’s own life with the greater concerns seems to be the way to manage eco-anxiety. Otherwise, Generation Z will become like all of the generations before — except the planet may not be able to sustain it.

The end of the article, a parent hugs her child and apologizes to her — apologizes for not having done something more to solve the crisis. I am not sure anyone needs to apologize, rather we need to dialogue honestly and work together to preserve our planet and maintain its health. Eco-anxiety will paralyze us into denial and overwhelm. Planet Earth will be more harmed by this more than anything else.

We are the hope.