Dear Therapist:

I know most people mark the big things in life, work promotions, graduations, anniversaries, birthdays, and more, but I am wondering if it is selfish to celebrate the little victories we may achieve on any given day? I don’t want to be seen as self-involved, but I also want to celebrate this stuff as I go along to mark what’s unfolding in my life.

Sincerely, One Moment Away From Celebrating the Little Victories

Glad you wrote in! It’s funny how down society is on noticing the little victories of our lives and celebrating them along the way. We somehow receive the message that life is not to be marked and celebrated, except for those very big milestones, i.e. marriage, having children, work promotions, a new home, an anniversary, a Birthday and, of course, the holidays.

Outside of those parameters, life is considered ordinary time. As adults, we are given the message that we must bear the ordinary days and be “OK” without anything special happening. If we are constantly celebrating, then how will there be anything special about the big moments. Rather, keep these to yourself and don’t make a big deal.

Sort of feels like these are our Puritanical roots. Head down, do good work, don’t cause any ripples – good, bad, or otherwise — and pass on calling any attention to yourself. I say a loud and strong, “No!” to this way of living.

I think any day one has good health — ie you wake up and are not in any type of pain — that is a victory day. Do you know how many people wish they woke up to a pain free physical life? We should celebrate at the start of each day when we are healthy.

All through our ordinary days, extraordinary people, events, and kindnesses unfold and they should be celebrated and noticed. In that same spirit, many small victories are won in a day that should be marked. Some of these could include:

• Your child is toilet trained
• The dog no longer chews the carpet and house to bits
• You tried a new food and enjoyed it
• You got a rebate
• The service call you had to make had you waiting on hold for less than a minute
• A beloved item is returned to you
• A presentation you deliver packs a punch and people really appreciated it
• You got to sleep with no problem
• You found time to make dinner
• A letter arrives with the news you’ve been waiting to hear

Goodness! Our little victories that we experience each day are not to be discounted, but celebrated. It may feel strange given the societal norms to not make such a big deal of any number of little things. Still, to get through the ordinary time, not only should you mark your own little victories, but others as well.

Let’s start a movement!