You Are Not Alone

You are not alone card

You are not alone! Say, what? Of course I am, you are thinking to yourself.

I was on my own last week when I heard the postman drop the mail through the slot. Ah! At least we get mail during this time of being at home. Mostly, I find my mail is made up of catalogues, bills, and junk, but every now and again a personal piece of mail is delivered and it totally delights me.

I am one who still writes real letters to friends and family near and far. I don’t do this to receive something in return, and so it is a delight to see that someone has returned the favor to me. I receive it with a grateful and open heart. These days, especially, where I spend the majority of my time at home, a personal missive means so much.

This day a friend had sent me a card with the message “You are not alone” on the front of the card, with hands reaching toward the center of the page where these words were written. Simple, yet powerful. I was feeling lonely or perhaps a little down with the whole situation. It has been awhile since I have seen my friends and family and, although there is Zoom, email, and Facebook, it is not the same as being together in person.

This was a powerful reminder that we are alone together these days. I think I even saw a cheesy commercial saying the same thing. We are apart, but together. All of us are at home, alone, and yet together. Just being reminded of this in such a tangible way gave me a hope and lift in my spirits.

It is important to remember that you are not alone at this moment in time. We are in our homes, doing our own things, and, in many ways, alone. Yet, each day we are a part of a shared collective experience of this across the world. People are thinking of others, people are still caring, people are still people with all the needs we have to be known, felt cared for, and be told we are not alone.

You are not alone. Not today. Not ever. Reach out and let someone you know know.

Dear Therapist: Winter Isolation

A Season of Loneliness?

Dear Therapist,

I am feeling isolated this season. It feels like I am spending more time on my own, at home, binging shows, cooking for one, and generally feeling isolated. Is there any way to alleviate my winter blues?

I get you – particularly after the snowy, cold week we have had in the Seattle area recently. The pattern almost feels painful. Get up, head to work, come home, eat dinner, watch shows, and head to bed. People are over the holiday merriment and the cold has burrowed in to make it hard to feel and/or stay connected.

What to do?

Most likely it’s going to take some energy to break the pattern, but you can choose community over isolation even during this season — even if you find it challenging.

Here are some ideas:

  1. Invite a group of friends over to watch your favorite shows together — or watch a show with a friend on-line using FaceTime or another similar service.
  2. Don’t go home right away after work. Perhaps pop into a book store or a coffee shop and take in the scene. Even if you don’t know anyone being a part of the hustle and bustle of the place will lift the feeling of isolation.
  3. Host a dinner party or a game night – make it potluck in terms of food and games.
  4. Catch a movie on the big screen – with friends or on your own. Again, being in a public place can do a lot to take you out of that felt sense of isolation.
  5. Volunteer — spend some time working on behalf of a cause you love. You will meet like-minded people and gain a sense of purpose

These are only a few of the ways that you can beat winter isolation. Anything that breaks your routine and puts you around people or involves your community will be helpful.

Spring is coming – the days are already lengthening. Winter’s grip will recede in due time. In the meantime, challenge yourself to stay connected.