Possible Selves

Possible Selves

Possible selves?

To me, the idea conjures up opening up to possibilities that we can become. And I think that is what this recent article in the NYT was talking about. A metaphor for how we can potentially reinvent ourselves at any point in our lives. It also seems to be along the lines of the fiction book The Midnight Library, where the protagonist pulls a book from the library shelf which is a path she may have taken in her life.

It’s an intriguing concept. There is who we are in the “here and now” moment which is largely defined by what we do for a living and then there are all the roads that we have not taken. Many times these are roads that hold no interest for us, or we have no talent in, or it just never occurred to us to think about a path for ourselves given who we are, where we have come from, and how we have crafted our life to date.

The idea of imagining different walks of life for ourselves is not only an imaginative exercise, but allows us the freedom to think about different ways of living our lives. When we make any shift in what we do, all of a sudden things looks different, fresh, new. Perhaps our schedules change. Perhaps we head back to being a student for a time. Perhaps we meet different people in different environments. The idea is that it is possible and we can bring our self to this possibility.

This is not something that happens overnight, of course. But it does begin with imagining. If you are unhappy or dissatisfied with how you are spending your time with your job/career, what is it that you are drawn to intuitively? Perhaps it is more than one thing. Once you have this in mind, take a walk down a day on this path with your possible self. What are you doing? Who are you with? How does the day flow? You can set out on these paths as many times as you like — but always hold that it is possible.

It strikes me that we get shot down from even starting on any type of new path for ourselves as we do not believe fundamentally that it is possible. Once we begin to imagine and fantasize about the possibility this can lead us to take the next steps if we find we are truly drawn to another way of working or creating a career for ourselves.

Do not be daunted. Believe in possibility. Believe in yourself. Believe in your possible selves.

Dear Therapist: Career Coach v. Career Counselor

Career Coach Sign

Dear Therapist:

With everything going on right now, I am reevaluating my career. I feel this time at home may be a good time to think about creating a new career path for myself as I’ve been pretty miserable for awhile now. I could use some help with the process and am thinking I would like to work with a Career Coach or a Career Counselor. What’s the difference? Does it even matter?

Sincerely, Looking for Career Direction

This is an excellent question because as you allude to in your question, is there even a difference? Actually there is and it’s a good moment to know what it is so you can decide the type of person who can best help you through your career transition.

Are you looking for help in exploring various industries and thinking about your strengths and weaknesses across each one? Are you interested in creating new materials to help you find a new job, i.e. a cover letter and resume? Are you thinking about ways to hone your social media profiles to support your job search? If any of these steps resonate with you, I believe you are in need of a Career Coach.

A Career Coach works with you to discern what your next job and/or career path will be, either in the same industry or a whole different one. The focus will be on who you are, your strengths and weaknesses, and creating a sense of what you want to bring to the materials you need to create to make yourself not only fit, but also stand out from all the other applicants. Concrete career steps like these are the focus of a Career Coach.

Alternatively, are you feeling stuck in your same job? Do you hate your job, know you really need to move on, but just can’t seem to take the steps? Feelings of anxiety, depression, stuckness, and internalized criticism that are hampering your progress in your career is a place to work with a Career Counselor. It is not about the job process itself, but rather what is happening to keep you somewhere you don’t want to be.

Career Counselors work with you to think about thought patterns, messages, and ideas that your have been given over the course of your lifetime that are operating to keep you immobilized professionally. By looking at these core beliefs you hold and starting to name and then unravel them are keys to becoming unstuck and moving forward to a career you are happy with. Career counseling is often a much more internal process, whereas the coaching process is about the action toward a new job.

Which space are you in? This delineation should clarify the difference for you, as well as provide you with a few questions to ask yourself in order to decide what you need. For more information on Career Counseling, what it is, how it can be approached, and feelings that are associated with difficulty in this area, click here.