Book Review: Hidden Valley Road

Hidden Valley Road

Hidden Valley Road Inside the Mind of an American Family by Robert Kolker is a newly published book that looks at one family, the Galvins. The parents of this family had 12 children together – ten boys and two girls – and six of the boys were mentally ill with schizophrenia. Often a scary mental health diagnosis, schizophrenia is a pervasive illness across the entire world. It is a mental illness that the field and society are trying to understand happens when a person has this diagnosis.

This is a compelling family saga, chronicling the family’s history right alongside the history of how mental illness has been treated in America and how schizophrenia has been understood historically and into our modern day. The Galvin family, given six of their children had schizophrenia, were a pioneering family in mental health research. Their DNA aided science in understanding the disease, treatment, and perhaps even the ability to stop it from ever taking hold. This family’s contribution to research in this area is undeniable.

However, I most appreciated the Galvin’s family story and how this tracks alongside illness progression. So often mental health illness cannot be understood or tracked in such a linear fashion, but the Galvin provide a backdrop for not only reading about the history of schizophrenia, but also provided a case study in how it appeared and functioned in real life in their family. Also, given six children were not schizophrenic, the cost and pain on other members of the family is an angle explored and given credence to, which is often the forgotten part of schizophrenia, i.e. how others related and/or involved are affected. Of course, with six children in one family sick with schizophrenia the impact was great on the children and parents who were not.

This book offers a difficult story of one courageous family and it is worth reading for greater understanding of the illness both from those who suffer from schizophrenia and those who suffer living with a loved one who does. It also provides a very good historical lesson on how mental illness is seen and treated, particularly a disorder like schizophrenia.

When I was working on the local crisis lines in my community, each week during my one four-hour shift, I took a phone call from a person regarding a person having his first psychotic break. What was described to me on these phone calls was harrowing, disturbing, and radical. I could not believe how pervasive the illness is nor could I understand what these people were now on a journey to face with their loved one for the rest of all of their lives. It is real and it deserves our curiosity so we can be better prepared to understand the illness and those whom suffer with it and their lived ones.

Book Review: A Weed By Any Other Name

A Weed By Any Other Name Book
Learn to Love the Weeds!

I love the name of this book: A Weed By Any Other Name; The Virtues of a Messy Lawn, or Learning to Love the Plants We Don’t Plant. The whole title seems to embrace the imperfections we find in our yards this time of year and all through the summer. We set out to plant beautiful bulbs, trees, bushes, and more to make our yards beautiful and with that come the weeds. Those plants that we don’t plant, but are there and often everywhere. Glaringly in our face, making us realize that gardens and yards, like life, are imperfect.

If you are looking for a book on weed ecology or a scientific books on where they come from, how to care for them, and more, this is NOT the book for you. Instead, this book is about the author’s journey in her own backyard as both a suburban mother and a weed ecologist as she discovers weeds and how she interacts with them.

How do you interact with the weeds that pop up on your yard each year? Do you take pleasure in pulling them each day? Would you rather spray them with chemicals to kill them? Or do you tolerate them and take a natural approach, welcoming them in to your yard alongside all of your other plantings?

My guess is how we tolerate and interact with the weeds in our yards reflects how we interact with the imperfections in our lives. For me, I don’t see many weeds in my yard, more due to the fact that there is very little grass and more mulch on the slopes, but I do buy Petunias each year and love to spend my morning time picking off the dead heads of these flowers each day. This obviously says something about me and my personality. However, the flowers really seem to appreciate it by growing in even fuller each day. Flowers love being tended to!

A gardening book that pays attention to the weeds is admirable. The author, Nancy Gift, shares her own little stories in an inviting narrative on how her life is weaved with imperfection — yes, it extends beyond her yard. Her ability to be curious about the “weeds” is an admirable quality. How we understand the weeds and grow tolerance for them is a good sign.

What do you do with the weeds you find — in your yard and in your life?

Book Review: Separation Anxiety: A Novel

Separation Anxiety: A Novel Book
Separation Anxiety, by Laura Zigman

Ah, another book for the middle-aged woman in me. Separation Anxiety: A Novel by Laura Zigman is another book targeted at women my age today. I have to say I am wondering if there is just a huge onslaught of these books all of a sudden, or I am just noticing them because I am the target audience. Hmmmm….

Anyway, I read about this book in the New York Times Book Review section and immediately downloaded it on my kindle. I am middle-aged and own a dog. Perhaps there was something I could truly relate to in this book. Perhaps not?

The story is about a 50-year-old woman who found her baby’s sling in the basement as she attempts to get organized and begins to wear her dog around in it almost all of the time — first in private and then in public. Sort of like an emotional support dog tied to her hip. The dog’s weight, about 20 lbs, provides the character with comfort and a sense of being needed by a living being in ways that her husband, who she is estranged from, and her tween son no longer seem to need her.

It’s a light-hearted book that can be read in a few hours. If you are a middle-aged woman looking to escape from your own distress at your situation both professionally and personally speaking, Judy Vogel, the title character, offers a brief respite into her world that may be different to yours, but that you may feel resonates with you. Such as,

Did you have a shining moment in your career and now can’t seem to find not only success, but any type of spark toward it?

Are your children too old to be held and yearning to be more independent, all the while you want to hold them a little bit longer — or like a lot longer?

Are you taking to doing quirky things to get your emotional needs met? Maybe not carrying a dog around in a sling, but perhaps over exercising, over eating, fining yourself at every salon in town all the time, chasing the elixir of youth?

Judy Vogel offers you a journey into how she is trying to make meaning of her world at this time in her life answering these questions in her own way. This is a book about middle-aged anxiety, but it is not a serious book, but rather a light and frothy one about how these things slowly creep up on us all and then how we are slammed with the truth we are living. Where we go from there is anyone’s guess.

My hope with reading this book was to give me a sense that there is no quick answer, but rather a capacity to live into what is unfolding and make peace with it and one’s self. If a dog on one’s hip helps? Hey, why not!

Book Review: All These Wonders

All These Wonders Book

All These Wonders is a book for the storyteller is each of us.

Are you a storyteller? Every family seems to have a storyteller and perhaps you are the one. If so, then The Moth is for you. I was introduced to it a few years ago when a friend suggested we hit up a story slam one Friday night. She told me we would have to get there very early to get in to the event. I had no idea what I was getting into, but I loved stories and performances and this organization seemed to merge the two.

The Moth is all about storytelling and encouraging each one of us to channel our inner storyteller and present a story, often on a prescribed topic, to an audience of several hundred people. It is random at most of these events who gets to go on stage and tell the story. You don’t think you’ll be called until they pull the name and yours is called.

Hello! Welcome, Storyteller!

So, I love that The Moth now has a series of books that capture some of the stories that have been told over the years under a particular theme. In All These Wonders, it is a compilation of true stories about facing the unknown. Ah, courage! We all need a good dose of it, especially these days when so much is uncertain.

These short stories are easy to read and, well, short, so you can read one a day and pretty much have the book finished pretty quickly without much of a time commitment. However, the time you do give to reading these courageous stories of facing the unknown, may help you face your unknowns as well.

I not only recommend this book to you, but also finding a Moth event and going. If you think you could never tell a story to a crowd of people, I encourage you to think again and perhaps throw your “hat in the ring.” It may be your night to meet a new challenge that feels unknown and uncertain. That’s what The Moth does best. At the very least, read these stories that were delivered on a stage alone somewhere along The Moth’s journey of live events.

Here’s to courage and facing the unknown!

Book Review: The Photo Ark

The Photo Ark Book

Joel Sartore’s idea in his book The Photo Ark is to document all of the species in the world so that we have them in photographic print to see them, appreciate them, perhaps be moved to save them, and recognize a respect for the natural world. These species are a part of our world and Sartore states, “When we save species, we save ourselves.”

If you love animals and have respect for the natural world, this is a beautiful coffee table book to display. Yet, it is not one that you will just leave there and that you never open, but one that is worth opening each day to take a gander at another beautiful animal — most you will have never seen, or, if you have, you did not know the species proper name.

Here they are on explosive, full color display to appreciate and “ooh and aah” over. During these days of being at home, especially for children, this is a wonderful book to use as a teaching tool. Looking for an easy, creative, imaginative activity for these days with your children at home?

The Photo Ark Animals

Pull this book out and let your children look through it at their leisure. When they find a species that they are curious about, have them pull out some paper and pencils and write down the name of the species on the paper and then all of the words, thoughts, images that come to their minds. Once this first step is done, the children will be ready to write a creative story about this species, or perhaps do some research on the species and learn even more, or create a little play about the species (perhaps more than one) that they can act out, or take inspiration to make a visual arts piece.

This book is so full of educational inspiration for children.

And what about for the adults in the room? In times like these, when disease is rising and threatening the human population, I am reminded how Sartore brings our attention to many of these species who may already be extinct or are going to be extinct soon. It provides me with new inspiration to not only care for man, but also the species we share our world with each day. Raising our attention to the threats we all face together connects me to these species in a way that is new and deserves true appreciation.

I cannot recommend this book enough to you. It is gorgeous, educational, inspirational – what more do we need from a book?

Book Review: Recipe For A Perfect Wife

A happy woman washes a dish amidst marital bliss

Given my thoughts earlier this week on the viral video, Be a Lady They Said, I thought it only appropriate to focus on this new little book, Recipe for a Perfect Wife by Karma Brown. Although this is a fiction book and not a viral video, here too we find a story about women fitting into a role they have been taught to aspire to in society. In this case, marriage!

Recipe for a Perfect Wife Book

Basically, the modern-day story is one we know all too well. A woman marries, follows her husband to the suburbs, and sets up a life for him and for her that is less than appealing. After all, our character left an exciting job in the big city.

The story gets interesting when this modern woman finds an old cookbook that belonged to a wife from a gone-by era in this same home who cooks her way to happiness(?) — actually to a mystery — in order to be the perfect wife of her times. Between following her recipes, our modern-day gal begins to piece together the real life of this perfect wife and begins to take courage in crafting her own life in the times she is living in — maybe with a secret or two in the mix.

It’s another tale of trying to prescribe to women who they are to be in any given marriage in any given era. There are many quotes, recipes, and puns to lead the way and give guidance in this book, but in the end it’s ultimate lesson is that women must define this for themselves. Hard to do in a society where we are told to be a lady at every turn and what exactly that means.

It feels like in the end times haven’t changed that much. I devoured this book because of the movement back and forth between the old and new ways that women try to make married life work for them. Although we think it is so far removed from yesterday, but, in fact, women have been trying to carve out their lives in secret for generations — even right up until today.

With no answers given, it is still a pleasure to read the recipes, take in the quotes, see how one woman tries to guide another and then reflect on how we define ourselves in our own marriages. The reflection is strong I believe.

Book Review: Milk and Honey

Milk and Honey Book

Are you a fan of poetry? I’ll admit it is not for everyone, but then there are some poetry books – fresh, modern, poignant, sweet – that speak right to the heart of it all. Milk and Honey by Rupi Kaur is one of those poetry books.

Small in size and with few words on the page, this is a little book that takes you on a journey into the author’s pain and yet comes out the other side with a sweetness to them all — a learning, even if painful, having taken hold through the experience of living.

I was intrigued by the book the first time I picked it up at a bookstore to read and it has never quite lost its grip on me. The book is broken up into four chapters, which reflect emotional periods of time for the author, including: “the hurting,” “the loving,” “the breaking,” and “the healing. See, even following the chapter titles, you can see the author is going to move towards hope in her story.

For me, as I read these poems, it feels like I have my own chapters each under these categories. Probably most of us can chronicle periods of our lives where we hurt, loved, broke, and healed. Taking the journey into this author’s view of life via her poetry is brilliant, accessible, and thought-provoking.

It is an old book by today’s standards, published in 2014, but still worth a read or at least a perusal of a poem or two.

Book Review: Why We Can’t Sleep Women’s New Midlife Crisis

A New Book on Women’s Midlife Crisis

I am seeing this book, Why We Can’t Sleep by Ada Calhoun, everywhere about now and it has caught my attention as I am the author’s target audience: a Gen X female who supposedly cannot sleep during this stage of my life. Given there are not many books written — at least yet — on Generation X, I thought it would be interesting to peruse the author’s insights on what she and the many Gen X women she interviewed for this book had to say about their experiences.

Apparently there was a lot they had to say and the book feels like a whirlwind with tons of interviews covering women my age feeling just about everything — everything negative and wrong that is. From money woes to husband troubles to never feeling good enough with their professional decisions to wondering if the whole path taken should not have been taken to begin with — this books strikes me as a place to give credence to how bad it all is — and that it really began when we were born and how we were raised.

I think a book that is written by a woman who is my age and focuses on women of my age is to be commended. Most of the time, the midlife crisis genre belongs to men. How refreshing to have a modern look at it today from a woman’s perspective. About time.

However, I cannot agree with how this author sits in the muck of it all. I believe that’s most comfortable for most people and for society in general, but it tends to bore me these days. How bad life can be at this stage or at any stage at all. And then to compile a book with all of the bad feelings and stories and then offer up some quick advice on how to combat all of this bad. It really feels pop psych gone bad.

To me, this is one of the easy ways we let ourselves live and then feel heard — when books like this come along and support our bad feelings. We love to dwell in the bad. If you are reading this and saying to yourself, but it really is bad, I believe you and I also want to challenge you on that thought.

If you think about a given day, how many people do you know who think, express, dwell in good thoughts, ideas, pleasure, complements, and other things that uplift people? I bet you probably can’t even find a single person today. Sad to me. If it is all about the complaining, the worrying, the nagging — and most of American society dwells in this to be honest – it is actually almost like eating a chocolate chip cookie to read about others misery alongside your own.

Harder still? Finding meaning and making meaning of your life no matter what stage we are in in life. Yes, your hormones may be changing, as is your husband and your kids and your parents, and so are you. Being resilient, curious, and welcoming to all that is changing is a way to meet the midlife crisis with an open heart that leads to authentic growth.

Where is that book? The one that looks at my generation of women and celebrates the change — of it all.

Book Review: Lark Cooking Wild in the Northwest

Well, it is the month of love and people always say that love can often be shown through the food we serve one another. That is why I have chosen to focus on a cookbook for this week’s book review — and not just any ol’ cookbook, but one that speaks to me in more ways than one.

Lark — first off, I love the word. It ranks right up there for me with the word serendipity. When I looked up the word, its exact meaning is, according to Merriam-Webster,”a source of or a quest for amusement and adventure.” Well, now I see why I’m drawn to the word. Amusement, Adventure — and then pair that with food and I am off to the races with my imagination.

So, the restaurant, Lark, in Seattle holds a perfect name for me. Many years ago, I was so intrigued, I dined at this restaurant and was completely enchanted by its small space and plates that seemed to take my tastebuds on an adventure that evening.

Eventually, Lark moved into a new space and it is it still a grand restaurant in Seattle that I highly recommend to you. However, if you cannot make it out to this restaurant, this cookbook, Lark Cooking Wild in the Northwest is a wonderful book that captures not only their recipes, but how to make the most of our provisions in the Pacific NW.

There are three seasons of eating in the Pacific NW, according to Lark, and they include: Mist, from November to March, Evergreen, from April to July, and Bounty, from August to October. As you can guess, the names go with the themes of the season each year. The restaurant cooks within the seasons and the recipes encourage cooks to do the same.

The book itself takes me on an adventure through many favorite recipes that I have tried at this restaurant over the years — like the sun choke chips! Simple, crispy — yum!

There are so many cookbooks out there on the bookshelves, perhaps on your kitchen shelves, and this addition will make itself worthy by the recipes that will inspire you to cook with the seasons of the Pacific Northwest. Even the cover has me dreaming of the mysteries of this area.

A gorgeous book for a wild, adventurous, amusing palette — and there is always the restaurant as a back up too!

Book Review: The Book of Mistakes

Does this look like a Mistake?

Do you feel like you are a work in progress? I know I do! And I think that is why I am drawn to this clever children’s book, The Book of Mistakes by Corinna Luyken. As you can imagine, there are not many words on any of the pages, just often the word “mistake.”

As the artist draws a splotch here and there, an eye too big, and a foot too large, with too much space between foot and sidewalk and more, the creative process unfolds in the drawing pointing out the mistakes. Yes, many mistakes.

And then something marvelous happens with all of those mistakes. Beauty, form, creativity, whimsy, a story full of hopes and imagination. What began as something wrong became right.

How many adults – let alone children – have little patience for any mistakes that we make? If it is not perfect from the start, why bother? I have come to realize that perfection is really rather boring and all that work to be boring is pretty arduous. But, ah! Mistakes. Mistakes take us to unknown places, create journeys we never intended to take, help us see something we never would have seen without the mistake.

Mistakes personify and embody life – the creative one and beyond. We often think we can read large non-fiction books about mistakes and figure out how to make peace with our mistakes and not make them in future.

Alternatively, you can turn to a book like this that names the mistakes during the creative process and courageously follows where they lead. Ah! A fresh take on making mistakes!