Is this a time to languish?
According to the New York Times, it is! Last week, I was perusing the paper and there it was — an article on languishing. First off, this is a very old fashioned word. I had originally thought it meant to take one’s time, but the more I read the article, I knew I was wrong. When I looked the word up in the dictionary, it means “To grow weak or feeble and (2) to suffer from being forced to remain in an unpleasant place or situation.”
Aha! Now I had something to think about. Given we all seem to be stuck in the pandemic that just won’t take her leave, we are stuck in a situation that is joyless and aimless. The article points out we still have energy, but it’s just being used in mindless, unenergetic, stuck, and listless ways.
The article calls languishing the “middle child” of mental health — you aren’t thriving and you aren’t depressed. You are languishing on the vine of life going along at best. Is this you? Is this me? You may not even realize you are suffering from languishing as when you are in this state your mind is in a fog and cannot discern what you are feeling or not feeling. The article goes on to point out naming it may be a way to start normalizing this feeling. It even encourages people to answer the question, “How are you?” with the word — “I’m languishing.”
How would you respond?
Of course, the article goes on to giving some good tips — try to get into one’s flow, focus on small goals, and give yourself some uninterrupted time — all ideas that can help any number of mental health conditions that cause us to not be at our peak on any given day. So, the article is sound, but it is also general.
To languish now calls to mind rotten fruit withering on the vine of one’s life. That’s harsh, but it feels like the truth. One needs water and nourishment for growth — how can we gain this for ourselves when we are forced to continue in the pandemic. I know so many people who have booked travel for later this year to favorite destinations. Will they get to have the experience they desire or to return to those days do we have to wait longer?
Some of my own tips for dealing with the state of languishing includes:
Cultivating the long breath — the pandemic is not over yet. Being present to life and making it good in the here and now in the circumstances we are in is what we are each called to do. Figuring that out seems critical to growth at this time.
Pick up something new to do — that you can do without the pandemic constraints. Some people are tired of masks and social distancing. Give yourself activities that are safe to do without these constraints on you — i.e. a new exercise at home, a new hobby at home. I know you may be tired of home, but it is a place where freedom from these constraints can live.
Fully vaccinated? Get out and do old new things with the safety measures in place. Go out to eat, head to the local museum, take a weekend away — refresh yourself in ways that you haven’t touched since the pandemic began. Even little things can become big helping you to thrive.
Be in touch with your family and friends in new ways — perhaps that is once again being together as everyone is vaccinated or just remembering people through kind words and gestures. Holding others in mind can often get ourselves out of our own minds and languishing there.
It seems to me that straddling the middle to the end of the pandemic is about naming our mental state — are you thriving, languishing, anxious or depressed? Once one can name her feelings and actually feel them, one can act to lift the fog and take steps toward thriving.
May you not languish a moment longer than you need to!